Kathleen O’Brien
Kathleen has had a long career of technical writing, throughout which she completed two full-length books and many articles on the subject of sustainable building. During the quiet of COVID she returned to her first loves, poetry and short fiction. She is mostly retired, living in Bainbridge Island, Washington.
Blessings…
*Novena: In the Christian tradition, a period of prayer lasting nine successive days or weeks. It commemorates the nine days the Apostles prayed in the upper room, waiting for the Holy Spirit to descend upon them after Christ ascended to heaven.
Praise for Novena to Loss and Other Love Poems
In Novena to Loss and Other Love Poems, we see just how vastly, how deeply, the shadow of loss permeates every part of our lives. Kathleen O’Brien touches the truth of heartache with great courage and precision. These are clear-eyed poems about the middle of grief, a stunning honoring of a life well lived and the gaping absence that remains.
— Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, author of The Unfolding
Kathleen O’Brien’s collection of poetry, Novena to Loss, is a stunning tribute of love and the ache that remains after the loss of a beloved partner. Courageously, O’Brien journeys into her grief and generously guides the reader through its many steep and winding roads. What a gift to experience the depth of love contained within these poems. Novena to Loss is a rare and raw opportunity to see how “grief plays beautifully” on the page. Thank you, Kathleen.
— Joan Roger, MD and Poet, Bainbridge Island
Grief poems are love poems and in this tender collection by Kathleen O’Brien about the sudden death of her husband, the poet shows us the depth of grief from a place of great love. “I wonder if out here in space / I can touch his voice / or if it is swallowed by night.” O’Brien does hear what poets do: she brings her lover back to life in these poem as she tells us the story of their life together. “But he is alive, alive, alive, alive. / In spirit.” Yes, indeed, and amen.
— Michele Bombardier, Bainbridge Island Poet Laureate, 2023-25
MORE BLESSINGS…
One of grief’s most insidious tricks is to make us turn inward, to go silent. Perhaps this is why, as Kathleen O’Brien reminds us, grief counselors recommend writing to the person we’ve lost. Novena to Loss and Other Love Poems does something even more difficult, even more vulnerable: it writes to the living, those of us who are left, those of us who must summon from each other the grace to remember the love we’ve had. In a life “burned to the ground” by her husband’s death, O’Brien turns to voices ranging from Jane Hirshfield to Jon Baptiste to a God she only sometimes believes in. This book now joins their company, offering poems steeped in the details of life and loss — from a to-do list that includes”cancel our trip to Hawaii” to the recollection that “a fight is how we ended up / having our best life, you accepting / my apology over the pay phone.” Ultimately, these poems remind us what life is: “It was the music we make when we breathe.”
— Ryler Dustin, author of Trailer Park Psalms
“In her beautiful collection of poetry, Novena to Loss and Other Love Poems, Kathleen O’Brien becomes the storyteller of the heartbreaking loss of her husband John. We, the readers, are welcomed into her story, her world of sorrow and later, finding her way, if not yet into healing, then into forgiveness and mercy — where we witness both the seemingly ordinary, mundane moments of great loss as well as the holiest and most sacred. It is an honor to walk the path alongside her. Day by day. The story unfolding poem by tender poem. Just so, John Crow. Just so.”
— Denise Carrico, Interfaith Chaplain, Bereavement Counselor
“Kathleen speaks the language of the grieving with heart and soul, leaning into the pain and the wisdom that results from this journey. It is we breadth and breath on every page.”
— Jim Gleckler, Reflection & Restorative Retelling Program, Facilitator
The esteemed creative nonfiction writer, Philip Gerard, said that when we write about loss, in order to make it more than jsut nostalgic and wistful — something only the writer can feel — the writer needs to show us what was lost when the person we’re writing about is gone. That is exactly what Kathleen O’Brien has done in this stunning collection of poems. John is gone, but O’Brien bring him back to us in this intiomate landscape of love and loss. What was lost when John died? Open this beautiful book to find out.
— Laurie Wagner, Writer and teacher at 27 Powers
Featured Poems
Novena to Loss
On the first day, he collapsed
into a sea of red. They used
the C word.
On the second day, they used
the M word. To the lungs.
To the liver.
On the third day, the loss
of his right hand to stroke, which meant
he could not feed himself.
On the fourth day, the loss of language.
He was so, so angry. And silent.
This is not how it was supposed to be
On the fifth day, we were promised
hospice, bu had to wait for official
Word. Which, because,
COVID, meaning not enough staff,
not enough anything, meant
waiting till Monday.
And being moved to the stroke floor,
of less interest to the staff. And quiet.
As all curing had halted.
Even ice cubes had to be bargained
for. I promised to supervise sips
while he turned more inward.
On the ninth day, we moved him
to a friend’s house, our home
in a heep. Ours bare of sinks
and other items of care.
An ironic remodel for our later years.
But Bill’s play was familiar
to John. Even the grumpy dog
welcomed the blue-suited crew
carrying him in, quietly.
But then.
I learned I was the only one
in the room allowed to feed John
let’s go drops. It wasn’t about the
goddamn bed. Yes. Angry.
I asked the hospital administrator,
could she at least demonstrate?
“It’s only drops,” she said.
It was too much, though, and he knew it.
One dose. That’s all he needed. One
dose.
On the ninth day, while his son and I
were trying to find jazz favorites with bad
internet, he knocked on Heaven’s door.
And flew. He flew.
*Novena: In the Christian tradition, a period of prayer lasting nine successive days or weeks. It commemorates the nine days the Apostles prayed in the upper room, waiting for the Holy Spirit to descend upon them after Christ ascended to heaven.
Widow as Refuge
In writing, a widow is considered “undesirable.”
The extra word having out on a line.
But there is refuge in being a widow.
The human kind.
You find someone who’s lost a special someone
at the airport, waiting to fly to a son or daughter.
Or in the grocery store, wandering
in the frozen food section.
A ring too loo large for her finger
or a ring dangling on her necklace.
Your eyes linger on the ring and hers on yours
and you weep together.
Without one word spoken, you know about the shirt
she sleeps with, and she, about yours.
Ode to Open Mic
To yoga with fellow grievers
To winde phones in the green woods
To medication that softens the edges
To “The Wild Edge of Sorrow,
Finding Meaning, and It’s OK
You’re Not OK.
The list of symptoms to watch for
To somatic massages and acupuncture
To Zoom sessions with weeping widows
To candles lit using his coin collection
To the Mass dedicated to your
spiritual (but not religious) spouse.
To the long walks through the forest,
along the shore, and through
the grocery store. To a nurse,
who keeps you for an hour to
make sure you’ll make it ‘til
the next appointment.
To coffee with his friends, who want
to share what he meant to them.
And others who want to hear what
he meant to you. To grief therapy
and vanilla ice cream, every day
for months. To the scale that doesn’t show it.
And all of that is true.
There is a special place, though, for the word
by word when the Laureate holds
the mic because you can’t.
And the skin-rasping snaps,
the quick intake of breath, the soft moans
of those listening… who know the prayer you
are speaking. By heart.
Who know it by heart.
Poems in Novena to Loss and Other Love Poems have been previously published in:
Day 199 – Academy of the Heart and Mind published on February 3, 2026
Widow as Refuge appeared in prose form in the Journal of Expressive Writing in December 2025
First Sighting appeared in Volume 8: Issue 3 of the Literary Nest. See Kathleen O’Brien | The Literary Nest
Workshops…
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In Pen to Paper, we use poetry prompts curated for their ability to inspire writing from the belly not the brain.
In 2020, instructor Kathleen O’Brien was introduced to Wild Writing TM — the beautiful and tender teaching method Laurie Wagner (27powers.org) has mastered and taught for decades. When Kathleen was faced with the isolation of COVID, a car-totaling accident, and the sudden death of her lovely sweetheart of 30-plus years, the Wild Writing TM practice saved her life.
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The method uses poetry or poetic prose as a prompt for putting pen to paper, the writer never stopping, for a given time period. The prompts (known as “jump off lines”) are chosen for their healing potential, and their likelihood of evoking feelings and thoughts from the belly, not the brain. It is not unusual to find the writing turning into something more, perhaps your own poem, essay, or story. While that’s a plus, however, it's not the point. This is a healing modality — a poetic doorway to someplace you want to go, somehow.
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The same method used for wild writing, using poetry or poetic prose as a prompt for putting pen to paper, the writer never stopping, for a given time period — with an emphasis on grief.
Again, the prompts (known as “jump off lines”) are chosen for their healing potential, and their likelihood of evoking feelings and thoughts from the belly, not the brain. It is not unusual to find the writing turning into something more, perhaps your own poem, essay, or story. While that’s a plus, however, it's not the point. This is a healing modality — a poetic doorway to someplace you want to go, somehow.
Upcoming Events
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Workshops
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Readings
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Special Events
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